Wa-Bam!

As you might have noticed (I hope)--I haven't posted in, uh...well....it's been a bit. I recently had a ton of shit go down, but I'm happy to report that I'm still alive--quite obviously.

Let's choose to look at is as a "blogger" vacation--though it definitely wasn't the type spent on warm beaches making fun of strange-looking people in speedos.

yummy.

So why has it been so long? I recently had an accident that involved me injuring my shoulder. Well, by "accident" what I mean is--well, fuck it, I'll just tell you the story...

I was sitting on my ass on my chaise lounge while my toddler was eating his oatmeal next to me, and for some reason he suddenly had the urge to throw said oatmeal across the room, so I,--in my super-powered-lightning-fast speed--got up from my "lounging" position, and in bolting up I promptly heard a sharp "snap" in my right shoulder.

Yeah....

My first internal thought: "shitmotherwhorefuckergodhelldamnfuckingfuck!!"

What I loudly exclaimed (no joke): "Ouuuch! GOSH that hurt!!!!"

The dance move I pulled after that was actually quite impressive as I look back on it.

But, the entire event was not worth a little oatmeal getting on the floor--trust me.

"she missed it by that much"

So, with that happening, it was quite hard for me to use my entire right arm more than I absolutely needed to. As some of you know (and if you didn't before, now you do) my job consists of using a computer all freaking day long. That being said, there wasn't a way that I could continue my job and use my arm any extra period of time doing things that I actually like to do. So....I had to choose my lame-o job instead.

Too bad I'm not cool enough to be a Blogger for a living and have enough followers to get noticed by someone important and become famous and get sponsored and not have to work a normal job like everyone else and only have to worry about tickling everyone's brain cells for a living with my obvious enormous sense of humor that eventually everyone in the entire planet would fall in love with. Too, too bad.

(I've always wanted to say that.)

So anyway--I'm back. Have no fear, I won't leave you again--unless anything tries to literally/physically keeps me from you. And it'll take a lot for that to happen

I'm glad to be back, too. You all are a safe place for me to barf all my internal "Jillianisms"...and it's a heck of a lot easier to barf them here than to barf them face to face sometimes. Trust me, barfing at someone face to face doesn't work well. It can get messy.

You know, I once made a list with an old friend of all the different words for "barf."

I'm out!

(geez, guys, it's only for now....don't be clingy--it's not attractive)



being rude is for losers.

I was grocery shopping the other day and I came to a realization that I've had multiple times before in my lifetime--but this particular time it seemed to hit me quite strong:

*sigh*

Tell me, what is it about human nature that makes one individual feel, at any particular time, that they are more important than another individual...when the truth of the matter is, that we all are the same pathetic, wanna-be, lustful, dirty-little-secret, do-the-best-with-what-we-have human beings?

If we all could see, in even the littlest way that we are alike...then I think that maybe we would stop, think for a second, and be like:

"Man, I really should stop being such a dickhead"

Literally.

Maybe then the negativity level that I'm constantly surrounded by would decrease.

One can hope right?

I'm thinking it's because we all try to be someone we're not. Then that ends up making us feel terrible about ourselves, and we take that out on everyone around us. Maybe we're jealous of others and we're fat people in jeans that are too tight, or poor people that spent their money unwisely, or ugly people wearing too much makeup. Or, maybe we came out of the womb a naturally mean person.It's possible...I've been around those type of people. But it's not the adults that are the scariest (even though they could seriously use some pills)--it's the children you need to fear.

I realize that I might be hoping for too much when I wish respect from people, because let's face it....people are going to be rude. No one is perfect. But what I don't understand is why. Maybe it's not something that I'm meant to understand and it's meant to be something in life---another thing in life---that always annoys the shit out of me.

As a matter of fact, I think that's just it.

Geesh, I have such a love hate relationship with my mind.

It's true.



I think way too much.

I'll never understand why people are so fucking rude.

Some people are kind-hearted, some people aren't. I guess that's a good thing because a lot of things in history wouldn't have happened the way they did if people weren't dicks.

I should stop thinking about it, really.

I'm not even making sense to myself anymore.

But is it....?

I'm out.