Wa-Bam!

As you might have noticed (I hope)--I haven't posted in, uh...well....it's been a bit. I recently had a ton of shit go down, but I'm happy to report that I'm still alive--quite obviously.

Let's choose to look at is as a "blogger" vacation--though it definitely wasn't the type spent on warm beaches making fun of strange-looking people in speedos.

yummy.

So why has it been so long? I recently had an accident that involved me injuring my shoulder. Well, by "accident" what I mean is--well, fuck it, I'll just tell you the story...

I was sitting on my ass on my chaise lounge while my toddler was eating his oatmeal next to me, and for some reason he suddenly had the urge to throw said oatmeal across the room, so I,--in my super-powered-lightning-fast speed--got up from my "lounging" position, and in bolting up I promptly heard a sharp "snap" in my right shoulder.

Yeah....

My first internal thought: "shitmotherwhorefuckergodhelldamnfuckingfuck!!"

What I loudly exclaimed (no joke): "Ouuuch! GOSH that hurt!!!!"

The dance move I pulled after that was actually quite impressive as I look back on it.

But, the entire event was not worth a little oatmeal getting on the floor--trust me.

"she missed it by that much"

So, with that happening, it was quite hard for me to use my entire right arm more than I absolutely needed to. As some of you know (and if you didn't before, now you do) my job consists of using a computer all freaking day long. That being said, there wasn't a way that I could continue my job and use my arm any extra period of time doing things that I actually like to do. So....I had to choose my lame-o job instead.

Too bad I'm not cool enough to be a Blogger for a living and have enough followers to get noticed by someone important and become famous and get sponsored and not have to work a normal job like everyone else and only have to worry about tickling everyone's brain cells for a living with my obvious enormous sense of humor that eventually everyone in the entire planet would fall in love with. Too, too bad.

(I've always wanted to say that.)

So anyway--I'm back. Have no fear, I won't leave you again--unless anything tries to literally/physically keeps me from you. And it'll take a lot for that to happen

I'm glad to be back, too. You all are a safe place for me to barf all my internal "Jillianisms"...and it's a heck of a lot easier to barf them here than to barf them face to face sometimes. Trust me, barfing at someone face to face doesn't work well. It can get messy.

You know, I once made a list with an old friend of all the different words for "barf."

I'm out!

(geez, guys, it's only for now....don't be clingy--it's not attractive)