lord save me.....no, really, i'll take anything.

You know, when you become a mother, say hello to never being shy ever again. I never thought I would ever be the center of attention so much as when I have my child with me. Good lord, he squeals, and giggles, and he's as cute as a button. Most of the time. Actually almost all of the time. But on a rare occasion he can turn into the exact opposite and become a monster....you think I'm kidding? You should hear the sounds that come out of this little 2 year old. They're just not normal. And I got to experience them tonight--while I was shopping at JCPenny. Now this store is fairly quiet....actually its too quiet. All you mostly here is the "Squeeeeeek" of the hangers on the racks, followed by slight giggles from teenie-boppers as they look at graphic T's. And there I am in the middle of the store all the sudden, with monster child, who suddenly chose to release his wrath when he didn't want to sit in his stroller anymore. You could probably hear him at the other end of the mall. I don't know if the looks I got were of sympathy or pity or if they were fake smiles of "poor little guy but get the hell out of here". I had to think of something. I saw dinosaur slippers--cute right?? Whee! Yeah, that lasted 5 minutes....5 heavenly minutes. Until he threw them and the monster rose again. I started to sweat. And attempted to switch between soothing and stern looks, to see what worked better. Nothing worked, but I still had to check out. What do I do in front of every person in the store? I start singing the ABC's. And "twinkle twinkle".....I didn't care anymore. My hair was frizzy, my forehead sweaty, my child kicking and roaring and sweating himself while yelling "stop!!!" Making me look like a terrible mother, sooooo....I got rung up, payed for everything, got my dirty looks all the way out the store, and promptly---very promptly I might add, my child stopped wailing. And when I got home, I noticed they rung me up without the sale price, hence, charging me too much. On purpose because I had a 2 year old belzibub wiggling in my stroller and maybe I wouldn't notice? Who knows. All I know is that I have to go back. What the frick.