I dont know what my problem has been, but in the past 24 hours I havent been able to calm myself down--not on the outside, because if you were to look at me you'd think I look like myself. But on the inside, I've felt so incredibly nervous, and it's a feeling that I can't shake. I went to bed last night with the feeling, and I woke up with it--which, by the way--waking up with a bad feeling in your head is one of the worst things ever. I didnt feel rested, I didnt feel the usual "okay, lets get the day started!", or anything what so ever. I felt something like this:
"omgwhatsgoingoninsideofme?whydoifeelthisway?didisleep?whyamiawake?amidying?noi'mfine.noimnot.yesiam.noimnot.yesiam.ashowerwillhelp.idontfeellikeshowering.godjillgetoff
yourassandshoweryoulazyslob.omgwhatamigoingtoweartoday?ihavenothingtowearthatmakesme
lookgood.imuglyimchubbyimgettinggrayhairihavebagsundermyeyes.omglookatthetimeireallyshould
getoutofbed.whyamisostressed?isitbecausesomethingbadisgoingtohappen?omggggg.i'mgoingtodieijustknowit.crycrycry.soooob.sooob.soooooob."
And so on and so on. I'm not even kidding, this happened to me this morning. My husband was there, lying asleep next to me, and I was practically jumping out of my skin with tears pouring out of my eyes for a reason that I couldnt figure out. I did get up eventually get up and take my shower, which helped a little. I went and woke up the light of my life, my two year old son, who made me giggle with his morning greetings. Slowly throughout my day I've been feeling better, but I have to ask though...
What the fuck was that?
Like, where did all the stress come from? I wish I understood why I suddenly felt that way. It's beyond me.
Can anyone else relate?
Anyone?
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